here;
stealing smiles.

just close your eyes

9:37 pm i dont care if the music blasts my feelings inside out.
i dont care if this feeling scares my heart inside out.
i dont care if my heart is so scared its hiding inside out.
i dont care if im running away from everything ive got.

i dont care if i cut myself.
i dont care if it hurts so much i scream and shout.
i dont care if you gouge out my heart.
i dont care it should hurt less than now.

i dont care.




i know whats happening and its this that caused zhipng and i to break up.
i know and i cant do anything about it.
im scared and running and when you just want to help me i just keep pushing you away in the most cruel way i can.
i know it too.
but im really scared this time.
it feels different from before and im just scared.
i just want to keep running.
prove to myself that i can live without anyone's love.
but i know that i need you.
but ive never done anything good for myself.
why start now?