here;
stealing smiles.

just close your eyes

8:27 pm im slipping;
one day it'll all crumble and you wont be able to find a trace of me.
ive never lost control before,
never cried during school except for zp last time;
but thats already so over.
i cant believe i got that.
i mean;
i just didnt tell him,
ive the mc and all that.
but still.

and i cant cope with everything.
getting back each exam paper and seeing the marks
just thinking
'failfailfail'
all the time; its not me.
it sucks.
i know i've always been slacking in school.
sleeping in classes, not " pulling my way" in studies,
never living up to 100% of my potential and all the teacher talk.
but ive never, ever.
failed continuosly for so many subjects.
french controle 3 is coming.
ive been getting like. 2 1/2 / 5 for my dictee.
gosh.
im so scared.
its taking up a big percentage.
MAJOR.
percentage.
and i have my algebra stuff to worry about &
all the math worksheets.
i owe my french teacher 4 pieces of homework.
i have to submit about 4 pieces of math soon.
ive to complete my history assignment after this.
i know that i could have done all this if i tried earlier.
now im so screwed up, i dont know where to start.
panic is just chewing my heart out.
i cant even think straight anymore.
i dont even dare to ask jamie for help with french.
look at what happened last time.
just thinking about the past incident makes me panicked and freaked out and somehow i'll start crying.
i'm not going to start thinking about it.
its just.
wtf.

gawd;
damn.