here;
stealing smiles.

just close your eyes

8:46 pm coz i just wanna be loved
just wanna be heard.

loves not always black and white
but havent i always loved you?
but when i need you,
youre almost here
but when im with you,
im close to tears,
your almost here.

bruised and battered by your words

-delta goodrem.

maybe im just almost there, ive never really felt there, ive never been grounded, never felt anything real. when i laugh its true, but timell push it away, il forget what i laughed at and it seems so surreal. only sadness seems to push its way up like daisies push up from beneath a grave. almost there, almost where ?

somehow when i dont have anyone to talk to, i always come here.
i dont wanna talk to anyone now,
i just wanna pour it out, so maybe it wont hurt so much inside.
i cant phrase it;
maybe its because i dont want to.
but im not young anymore,
though i am in ways you barely know about,
i can do things on my own.
I'M NOT MY SISTER
just get that okay?
i can take care of myself, i know whats right.
you dont have to tell me of what ill be if i dont study, what if what if.
coz its driving me nuts, its driving me to tears.
im just. me.
i dont even know what i am inside, and which part of me is put up, for show now.
you could say its lost, maybe i just changed.

and youre always only almost here.
you try hard to be here, i know. but youre never reaching.
coz you always dont know the whole thing.
it feels like ive locked myself in this glass closet and given away the key,
you cant reach inside and shock me awake,
you cant even touch me.
coz you dont know.

no one else can come close. but i dont want to let you know, if were no longer together, will you be like him? not even talking to me, or replying my sms when i just say hi. he used to be everything of me, everything that was important before i faded him out. he took my secrets, like half of my life away. ive seem to have gotten it back, but how real is it? dont know what to think with you always brushing it off, brushing it to end.