here;
stealing smiles.

just close your eyes

11:09 pm this is crazy.

xanga is rejecting me uhnuuu probably a god-sent attempt to get me to bed therefore imma take heed soon.
been feeling downdown recently, and i can't pinpoint the source,
i could probably peg it down to pms but hai it couldn't possibly be this down.
i do do try to love love people,
and each day it gets easier to really care,
to let them know they do matter.

i know God peeled off made over the layer of dead, unwanted bitterness that had for so long, shrouded my heart. i saw it come to life, I felt it challenge me whenever I was too close to being a jerk.

i'm changed but i'm still seeking.

contentment; within God for God with God.
I know once i've found it, nothing will ever be difficult again;
no relationships will dysfunction,
no hearts will be broken,
no empty lives.
and all i want to do is really reach out and love.
reach out and talk about God in the way i dedicate to everyone else possible.
this reason for living is the only thing i get up some mornings;
that i have a reason for living.
when i stop loving i'm breaking my own heart and i can't fanthom how i'd rise and walk silently among the loud.


they say it's a dream
to wake admidst sunstream.
here,
we awaken to mock crowing,
mechanised from devices,
we set everyday to tilt us out
of bed.

they say it's amazing,
we stand everyday and sing
of praises and dance to the Lord.
i rise, i rise, i rise.

they say it gets easier,
to be mechanical and
i look down at my heart
on fire.

they say it hurts to
give too much of yourself,
i stumble. how else,
do i climb above
barbed wire truths?

they say c'est difficile,
to speak of truth with
conviction.
i tap on my cavity,
'come, thou holy.'

i weep in earnest,
for the faded.
skip .
and before they say trip tumble fall,
it's over.
a play upon the brightly lit
colours cast into oblivion,
who never knew and never will.
Or happy.
bleeding burdened heart drips,
red: beyond the sunset.
leave me let lonely,
leave me set angry.
and before you know.
i'll be running back.
beyong beaches and beyond horizons.
for you.



they say.